Losing Love
by Silk Weaver
Summary: The worst pain of all is loving someone and not being able to help them. Drabble, AU, Cid x Vincent / Valenwind.


**Losing Love**

Cid x Vincent

Author's Note: This is just a drabble. However, it's an idea that I like, for all that it is a very dark piece, so I might eventually make a longer story out of it. It will probably take a while before I'm comfortable with writing multi-chaptered pieces though, so don't hold your breath.

* * *

Knocking on his back door rouses Cid from his nearly-asleep state. He almost wanted to ignore it, but although the knocking was soft, it was insistent and continuous. The person at his door was clearly not about to leave without seeing him.

Cid pulled himself off of his couch and stumbled through the house, still dead tired because his overactive mind has not let him get much sleep in the past few days. The hunts have been more regular and fiercer. He dreads finding out what each new group will bring in, but he puts himself through the almost daily torture because that's the only way he'll know if he's safe anymore.

He has barely opened the door enough when Vincent slips inside and forces the door shut behind him. The only sound for a long moment is of the lock clicking into place, as the two of them examine each other wordlessly.

Vincent looks worse. In the few weeks since Cid saw him last, he has acquired more scratches on his hands, and tears in his clothing that Cid is sure were originally wounds. There is a tightness around his eyes that shows how harried and trapped Vincent is feeling. Cid can sympathize with that feeling, since it has been growing just as much in him. He probably looks like shit as well, exhausted and stressed.

"I only have a day," Vincent said, breaking the silence. "He is recovering from a run-in with a group of hunters. I had to take control to get him away, and he will not be able to take control again until he is back at full strength." He sounds tired. He probably had to walk all the way here.

Only a day… and yet it's a full day together, not just a few minutes or hours where Vincent has to fight for control every moment. It was obvious that Vincent is in perhaps the most in control that Cid has ever seen him. There were hardly any aspects of his host bleeding through into Vincent's form. It was one of the few times Cid had seen him without some flicker of gold in his eyes, or full-on heterochromia. They were safe for one day. They were together.

Instead of giving a verbal answer, Cid pulled Vincent into a tight hug, relishing in the contact. "C'mon, I'll get you somethin' ta eat," he mumbled against Vincent's chest, because he didn't want all this emotional shit out in the open when Vincent had only just got here. He was not going to spend the whole day feeling sorry for them. Maybe it was selfish and stupid, but he was going to pretend, only for a little while, that everything actually was okay.

Vincent returned the embrace for a moment, holding on just as tightly. "Perhaps just tea for now?" he said as he pulled away, though he grabbed Cid's hand to keep contact established between them.

"Right. Tea." Cid led both of them into the kitchen, and absorbed himself in the regular actions, and with simple conversation with Vincent, still pretending.

* * *

"Cid. I have to leave."

The sudden statement made Cid glance up sharply from where he was leaning against Vincent's side. "What? Already?" The startled exclamation came out before he could help it. It hadn't been a full day already, had it? It couldn't have, it was far too soon for all that time to have passed.

Yet it was obvious that Vincent couldn't stay. His eyes were once again shifting toward gold, and there was a blue tinge to his skin that was his host's usual skin tone. It wouldn't be long before he lost control, and it would be best for both of them if Vincent were far away when that happened.

Cid didn't make any more protest than that, simply turned and buried his face in Vincent's shoulder. "Love ya, Vince," he whispered harshly. He had to say it, every time Vincent left, because he never knew if something would happen to Vincent before he could see him again. He had to say it, because he would never be able to have something like that left hanging unspoken between them.

"I love you. I will miss you," Vincent replied, his voice raw. Cid felt Vincent press a kiss into his hair, and tighten his arm around his shoulders. "I promise, as soon as I can, I will come back to see you."

Then, with no drawing everything out in a way Cid both wanted to and was afraid to, Vincent was gone, the sound of the back door slamming the only tangible evidence of his departure. For a moment Cid simply sat on the couch, unmoving. Then, he leaped to his feet and slammed his fist violently into the wall, growing with helpless anger. "Damn it. DAMMIT!" he screamed, frustrated tears rolling down his face. He couldn't save Vincent. He couldn't, and no one else would even try.


End file.
